Wednesday, November 14, 2012

In Memoriam

Samuel Scott Courtney
5/23/2001 - 11/11/2012

I wasn't going to write this post. Some things are private and should be kept out of cyberspace. But the more I thought about it, the more I felt it should be shared. He should be shared. His life was too precious for more people not to know about him.

This weekend we had a great visit with our nieces and nephews from Texas. They were in town for their grandmother's funeral. We don't get to see them too often due to the distance between us, but for the kids it was like they saw each other every weekend. They get along so well, and we had a fantastic time catching up with the adults around a table full of pizzas. The photo above is from the last family photo taken before we all left on Friday.

On the last hour of their 19 hour drive home, they were struck head on, by a driver who should not have been on the road. The van filled with 10 family members flipped over several times. Our brother-in-law was thrown 25 feet and sustained several broken bones. Our eleven-year-old nephew, Samuel, was also thrown from the vehicle and suffered massive head trauma. He died instantly. 

My first reaction was, "that's not possible, we just saw them on Friday." Silly, isn't it? Of course that doesn't matter. But, sometimes you just get accustomed to "knowing" when someone is going to die. They're sick. They have cancer. They're in the hospital. They're old. 

Not an eleven-year-old boy. 
Not someone with a personality beyond his years. 
Not such a talented artist. 
Not a boy who, on Friday, put his arm around his 2 year-old cousin and told her, "I love you."
Not a son. 
Not a brother. 
Not someone so loved.

So today we give our family extra hugs, extra kisses, extra tolerance for behavior that does not fall within our old vision of what's proper. Does it really matter that my child is in my face as I'm trying to type on the computer? Maybe not, maybe that's a sign that I need to stop what I'm doing and make some room for quality time with him. It's tough to balance priorities, but I think there is a lesson to be learned here. You hear it so often, "life is short." But do we really understand what that means? Do we really have that mantra front-and-center as we go about our lives? Do we need to wait for something tragic to happen in order to understand this and act accordingly?

As heartbreaking as this is, we are so incredibly thankful that the other 9 family members are, or will be, physically OK. It could have been much worse. And for that we will say a special prayer next week at Thanksgiving.


I couldn't bear to send them a sympathy card. How could I send a sympathy card for someone so young? It might not make sense, but it just wasn't what I wanted to say. They know of my sympathy. What I chose to do instead was send a card with a "be brave" sentiment. Because that's what I really wanted to tell them. They have such a long and painful road ahead of them, and they will need to be brave to help each other on this journey. So that is what my prayers are for them, to be brave.

Thanks so much for looking, and for any prayers you may have for Samuel and his family.
-Kelly


PS, I know as card makers sometimes we end up with more cards than occasions to send them. If that's you, and you would like to send one of those cards to Samuel's parents, feel free to contact me and I'll give you their address.




Supplies used: 
stamps:  CAS-ual Fridays Calm and Gentle
other: heart punch

55 comments:

  1. Oh Kelly I don´t know what to say. I am so sorry for your loss and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I had tears in my eyes while reading your post. I personally know that life is too short and that we sometimes forget what we have and that time is precious. My husband is in hospital today for a little surgery but I gave him an extra hug today and told him an extra time that I love him. But I am happy that I can pick him up tonight but that reminds me that we all shoudln´t take things for granted. I send you many hugs, strenght and hope that having your loved ones around you helps a bit in this situation
    Lots of love from Germany
    Tascha

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kelly, I am so very sorry for your loss. You are right about time and life always being too short. Whenever a child dies it is just wrong; my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am so sorry for your loss Kelly. I am at a loss for words. What you all must be going through . Samuel sounds like he was a wonderful boy with a sweet heart. Oh my gosh what his mother and family must be going through! Life is short,and your words are beautiful. Thank you for sharing ,I hope it helped you a bit. His mother,father ,you and family will all be in my prayers and moved to the top of the list. I am truly sorry!
    Your card is heartfelt and beautiful,just like this post.
    Big hugs.
    Hope your children are doing ok ...this must be hard for them too.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you for sharing this Kelly...I am so very sorry for your loss. I cannot begin to imagine what you all must be going through. My eyes are filled with tears...Your card is perfect.

    ReplyDelete
  5. So very sorry for your loss. What a terrible accident. A perfect card for this. Sending hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh, Kelly. There are no words. I am praying for you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  7. What a special young man he was. His family and yours are in my thought and prayers Kelly.

    ReplyDelete
  8. so sorry to hear this story - it must be a difficult time for all of you.

    ReplyDelete
  9. So very sorry to hear of this sad news. Sending love and hugs. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  10. My heart aches for Samuel and his family! What a senseless tragedy!! Things like this do not make any sense...Your sympathy card is so subdue and perfect, Kelly! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  11. So sorry to hear this story! Praying for his family!
    Great card!Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Kelly, I am so sorry to hear of this. I have tears in my eyes, and I honestly do not know what to say. What a horrible, horrible loss. I would be happy to send a card to Samuel's parents, if you think that might help in any small way.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Sending lots and lots and lots of love & prayers to your family ♥

    ReplyDelete
  14. I am shocked and want to hug my kids extra tight. You never know when an ordinary day can change into something unforgettable. I know they will appreciate your delicate card.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thank you for sharing your very personal story with us. Deepest sympathy to your family during this difficult time. Be brave.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Kelly I am so so sorry to hear of your loss. It is so hard to find the right words in the case of a senseless tragedy. Honoring this young man is definitely the right thing to do. I think your card is just right. Sending hugs to you and all of your family. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm heartbroken for you and your family with such a tragic loss of young life. In the midst of such sadness, you've made the perfect card for the family. The torn panels (to me) indicate the tearing apart of a family through a heart-breaking sense of loss. Sending sincere sympathy and hugs through this comment.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I worked at the preschool that Samuel attended about 6 years ago...he was such a joy! A big personality in such a little soul! This hurts my heart so much...

    ReplyDelete
  19. My heart breaks for the whole family and my prayers are with you.

    ReplyDelete
  20. This is so heartbreaking, Kelly, but I appreciate you sharing the story with us as a reminder to be thankful for all of the precious moments we have with those we love. Your card is the perfect, gentle reminder for your family to hold on tight to each other as they struggle with their loss. I will be keeping you and Samuel's family in my thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
  21. This has hit home extra hard as this tragedy was on the same day my baby boy turned 11. I can only begin to imagine the heartache you and your family must be going through. Be brave says it perfectly Kelly. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Samuel's family.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Kelly, you brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry for what has happened, all of you are in my thoughts and prayers. Your brave card is perfect!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Thank you for sharing. I worked with Debra for nearly 9 years at Schlotzsky's. We were always laughing at the stories Debra would tell about Sam. Such a strong spirit and big personality. May your family find peace and always cherish the memories you have of Sam. Such a beautiful tribute.

    ReplyDelete
  24. So I had chills and tears on my face as I read your post. My thoughts are with your family.
    Your card is beautiful, and surely does speak your message (in my mind.)
    Thanks for playing at CAS-ual Fridays.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Kelly, I cried reading this and I am so sorry for your family. I will say a prayer for all of you. Your card is beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Kelly, my heart is breaking for you and your family. What a terrible loss. Your card sums it up perfectly, your family will have to be brave and strong during this painful time. Sending hugs and prayers to you.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Oh Kelly - my heart broke for your entire family as I read your post. You must all be in shock at such a senseless trajedy. God be with you all!
    Your post is a beautiful tribute to your nephew and to your loving family. I agree that life is short and that it can be tragically changed in a heartbeat....my heart and prayers are with you all. Your card is perfect....may you all be brave. Big gigantic HUGS my friend!!! Some things are just so hard for us to understand....I am just so very sorry for everyone! God Bless and keep you all!!!
    With love,
    Jill

    ReplyDelete
  28. So sad to hear about your nephew! After reading your post, I was in tears. Hope all of you are holding up alright. Such a trajedy. Thinking and praying for you all. Stay strong.
    You card says it all. It is nicely one.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Oh Kelly. You have written such a beautiful post about your family's tragic loss in Samuel. My youngest son is just 2 months younger than him so this hit me hard. I am so sorry and I can't even begin to imagine the agony. I was already crying as I read your post, but when I saw your card...your simply amazing card with my sentiment on it...I completely lost it. Your family will be in my prayers this holiday season. Thank you for sharing with us at CAS-ual Fridays.

    ReplyDelete
  30. My prayers and thoughts are with you Kelly!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Kelly, my heart is broken and I just cried reading your post. I guess there are no words to be found that can lighten your family's sorrow at this moment. It's just not fair. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers, and I send you a big hug and strenght.
    I am awed by the way you made it through your pain and created such a beautiful card. Thanks so much for sharing it with us at CAs-ual Fridays.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Such a precious story....I'm sorry for your loss. Your card is perfect. I love the "be brave".

    ReplyDelete
  33. This is a beautiful card and my heart aches for the family. I will be hugging my family a lot tighter this week when I see them

    ReplyDelete
  34. I am so so so sorry for your family Kelly. It goes without saying that you should never have had to write this beautifully sad post. My thoughts and more importantly my prayers are with your family at this tragic time.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I am so sorry for your loss. Prayers are coming your way. Your card is beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  36. I'm so sorry, Kelly. I will pray for Samuel's family. Your card is truly, perfectly, poignant.

    ReplyDelete
  37. I have no words but please know that I just said a prayer for you and yours and I will continue to do so. I would be honored to send them a card and will email you. Thank you for sharing this awful tragedy so we could all share a piece of his memory.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't find your email address but mine is Tiffany.ogrady@gmail.com

      Delete
  38. I'm so sorry for your family's loss. Your card is beautiful and perfect in its simplicity. Sending you healing hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  39. I am so sorry for your loss. Your card is simply beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  40. My heart aches for your family. In the midst of this heartache maybe you can be thankful for the chance that you all had to be together before the accident. Those memories will, one day, supply those "roses in December."

    ReplyDelete
  41. My prayers are with you and and your family. So sorry for this tragedy. Your card says just the right thing at a time when words never seem enough.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Hi Kelly,

    My daughter & son-in-law, Bobbi & Brandon Courtney, called me when the accident happened. I feel for everyone's loss and have kept them all in my prayers. My daughter has told me stories about Samuel over the years and I feel I knew him through those stories. I know she said he was very sweet boy. Your story was very touching for this young fellow.

    Vicky Heron

    ReplyDelete
  43. I am so sorry, Kelly. This is heart wrenching. I pray that your family heal and be encouraged everyday. There are no words...

    ReplyDelete
  44. You are very brave to have written this post and your words are so heartfelt. I am so sorry for your family. You are right that it is best to share your feelings and to remind us all to enjoy every moment we have together. Hugs...

    ReplyDelete
  45. Kelly, I'm so sorry for your family's loss. There are just no words for something like this. Samuel sounds like a very special person. I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers and say a extra special one for Samuel.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Kelly, I am sorry for you family's loss. My prayers go out to you all. (You made a wonderful card) Be brave is a wonderful sentiment.

    ReplyDelete
  47. You are SO brave yourself to have written such a tragic and meaningful story about your family and your unexpected loss of young Samuel. Will keep your family in my prayers and an extra special one that your BIL will be OK. I'm so very sorry for your loss. BTW, your card is perfect.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Kelly, I can't add anything to the words you wrote so lovingly. I am so sorry for your loss, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, and will continue to be so. Anita in France

    ReplyDelete
  49. When I read this I had tears in my eyes. I know how it feels, I know how it hurts. I lost my brother 7years ago, he was only 26. :( and I still miss him every single day. P.S. your card is very beautiful. It shows that you don't need long message to tell what you feel. Be brave tells everything.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Just stealing a few minutes to catch up on some challenge hopping and have tears in my eyes - your post is heartfelt and eloquent - somehow, through your grief & pain you have found the right words. I hope it helps to know others are thinking of you & your family - sending prayers & hugs. "Be brave" is the perfect sentiment when we have to get through something that makes no sense and should never have happened.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Kelly, I am so very sorry to read about this tragedy.
    Words fail me.
    Please accept a stranger's sympathy.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Oh my goodness, Kelly. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for everyone. You are so brave. My thoughts go out to you during this time.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Oh Kelly, it requires a lot of courage to bring such a painful story to the public!Full of grief I read your tragic loss, and I want to express my sincere condolences to you and your family.

    Stay strong .....sincere thoughts from France

    ReplyDelete
  54. This is awful Kelly, what a terrible tragedy for your family. Bad drivers are a nuisance on the roads, and when they destroy lives, well, it's unforgiveable. I'm so sorry for your family's loss of such a beautiful boy, my condolences and heartfelt wishes go to you all.

    ReplyDelete

I absolutely love reading comments. Thanks so much for stopping by and taking the time to leave one! - Kelly